When I think of disappointment, I reflect on many memories where I felt this. I also think of what lifted me up when I felt disappointed; needless to say, a lot comes to mind. I was specifically drawn to looking up what disappointment meant in its literal sense. “Sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.” is what Oxford’s definition says. My mind captures the word, “appointment” within “disappointment, so in essence, disappointment is the absence of an appointment you had with someone or something.

A REALLY close friend one day asked me “what can I do to be a better friend to you.” A part of me knew the answer right away, and the other part of me didn’t, so I just couldn’t hold back the tears when trying to come up with a less embarrassing answer. *I promise at some point this example will be relatable to the intro.* I told her, “Maybe we can hang out more often, or schedule a date. I really loved when we grabbed coffee and went to Ulta together. We should make that happen soon and have a “girls date.” I then shared with her that when certain life events happened in her life, I told her I had felt disappointed that there was just such little time given into our friendship in the current season. I truly did miss just hanging out and really expected her to make more time for that.

That simple question not only gave me the window to open up about what I had felt, but it also made me realize that I had created an expectation for myself to make more time for this friendship as well. I had shared with her that I was overall frustrated that I didnt make time either to hang out. Mostly because juggling my social life, and motherhood was something I didnt know could be so hard. It was then that I noticed I had “let my own self down.” —- creating an appointment within myself , that I had to master balancing both my social life, and my life as a mother, in such little time.

Why do I do this? I had reflected after the fact. Why do I constantly carry a need for others to meet appointments I create within myself of them. Why do I subconsciously schedule unrealistic engagements for myself to commit to? I noticed the reason behind my tears rooted from this pressure I had given into — the pressure to meet those appointments for myself, and for others. I challenged myself to have grace and gratitude. Grace and gratitude. To extend grace towards myself — that I didnt need to 1.) set standards for myself that were unrealistic at the time as a new mom and 2.) expect myself to be the perfect friend. I considered that I also needed to extend more grace on my friend considering the season she was in, and all that came with it.

I told myself, “just be grateful for the time that has been given into the friendship.” I also reminded myself to remain reciprocal in our friendship. This allowed me to remember that no one owes me anything, and that grace and gratitude are such powerful things that can outweigh any heavy expectation we may have on others. Using gratitude to carry you through these normal expectations will free you from all types of disappointments.

What are some moments where gratitude has freed you?